Little thoughts:
- Love is something weird that leaves you thinking about it all the time.. It can make you laugh, and it can make you sad... If you think that it hurts you more than it makes you happy, then i guess that is probably not love, but torture... And also, trying to be TWO TIMING is the worse ever crime in a relationship!

- Still thinking of making "privatize" my blog... Will seek for more comments before i make a final decision. Is either i will make a new private blog, or make this totally a private one.. Why i wanna do so? Hmm.. Just feel that, i do not want too many people to know what i am thinking!

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I am thinking of making this blog a private one soon.. What do you guys think? Will probably invite people who is interested to read and of course, will only gain permission to read if i want you to read... Don't ask me why, i just feel shitty now... Leave a comment and we shall see what would eventually happen...

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At this time, i am not supposed to do anymore posting as i have to face the cruel reality of having two midterms next week.. One is the subject that i have to be good in namely Economics and another is the subject that almost drove me crazy back in high school, namely Physics.

In addition to that, recent emo mode still haunting me day and night, as if it has already blended into my body and soul, and nothing can ever separate it anymore! But i still failed to be as productive as i wanted to be... Haiy, this really saddened me! I guess the computer has been playing a huge role in making me so inefficient. Last time back in High School, there was no MSN, no facebook, no online shopping, and well, NO COMPUTER for me... That is why my only leisure is the radio that stood beside my working desk, and a notebook that i used to draw figures and designs...

Adding to my misery, i decided to cook today just to make myself feel better... (it seems like cooking really makes me feel 10x better... The sense of satisfaction is beyond words when u know that everything that you cook today tastes so good... ) If that is not bad enough, i made braised pork for dinner, which eventually took 2 hours of my time...
And.. and.... Internet and Cooking are not the only thing that deviate me from focusing on my Econs book.. Recently, i am hooked to the Korean version of Hana Yori Dango or Meteor Garden... Haiy, this show really makes me so addicted with it... It's been a long time since i last got so addicted to a drama... To make things worse, this is an ongoing drama, which means, i have to wait for every weekly single episode... Damn sien~But yea, this show really reminded me of a lot of things.. From my first crush... to my current relationship status... aiya, many many things that never fail to make me more emo than ever... Never know a drama can actually turn my world upside down....

But because of this show too, i have decided to change the direction of my fashion sense. Out of the 3 versions that i have watched so far (Japanese and Chinese being the other two), the Koreans F4 definitely dress up the best... Everything that they wear in the show is just fantastic really fashionable!! So, after my mid term, i decided to go for my shopping spree regardless of how badly i do in my midterms... Hee hee~ Thinking about adding collections to my cupboards makes me happy and motivates me to study now..


Little thoughts:-
1 . Although i feel that i am almost good in everything, the fact that i am not good in one thing is good enough to kill me... All these while, i have been really successful on my whatever applications, not until i applied for my internships with the big banks.. I am a sportman (badminton, squash, athletics), i am a debater (both languages), i am quite clever (ehem, all A1 in O-Levels /SPM), I am a singer (won a few singing competitions), I serve the community through Interact Club (being the President and also awarded with the Best Interactor Award), winner for many quizzes ranging from sciences to engineering... All these are useful to me in the past, but all of them turn useless while applying for internship... ALL I AM LACKING IS THE KNOWLEDGE IN FINANCE/ECONOMICS.. AS IN REAL KNOWLEDGE, HANDS ON KNOWLEDGE... officially, i declare, i fail to obtain anything from all 7 applications that i made... T-T

2. Sometimes, I really do not know what i want.. And this often leads me to be very regretful upon certain things that i make! Can i turn the time back and say, "yea, let's give it a try? " .. Haiy, sometimes, thinking too much = killing yourself... Maybe learning to let go when i really have to if the best solution.. But what if you want to let go, but at the same time, you cant let it go? Hmm... How?

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It is Thursday again, which means officially the end for the week for me... 好不容易熬过来了... I feel like i have been losing the connection with my bloggy, mainly due to the fact that i really do not have the extra time to blog... But , today, let me just "sekaligus" aka "one shot", say everything that i wanna say!!

1 - Language used on this blog
Well, officially, i will use English to blog here! BUT, there is no need to use proper English, since this is MY BLOG, NOT YOUR BLOG!!! WTH... If you expect me to write using super duper powerful English, then this might not be the right place for you... At times, i used broken english too which is full with grammar errors.. But again who cares? And i don't care if you care! At times, i might use Malay to scold people (seriously, i have done a few posting in Malay, they are all meant to scold people.. )! And i might also post in Chinese, since Chinese is such a beautiful language! And again, a lot of my friends including those who have very powerful English also told me that blog is not a place to use proper English, so take that!!!!

2- My short hair
Ok, i will now take back everything that i said previously regarding my hair.. I HATE MY SHORT HAIR NOW... I look damn ugly with this hair... OMG... REally cannot tahan! I miss my long hair now... Hair hair, you faster grow ok? I treat you with the best shampoo if you grow faster!! Why my hair is so short? OK.. Last week, i have the urged to cut my hair, but when i reached Chinatown, Urban Roots (the only hair cut place that i trust now) was closed... So out of desperation, i went to a random one.. Who knows, this guy with RED HAIR, pretended that he is very good and start to talk a lot of hair design stuff with me.. Who knows, then he started to cut my hair, he made my hair shorter and shorter... and alas, i had this sucky+ shitty hairstyle!

3 - Save money
I am very money minded one... And because of that, i saved quite a lot of money , although i dont look like one.. Ok, once a while, i will spent some money investing on my shirt and pants and accesories... But that is once in while only... And everytime i splurge on these stuff, i always go for those look expensive but is actualyl very cheap stuff... And mind you, last month, excluding 2 Chinese New Year Dinners, i only spent about USD 150 on food... And hor, last month, i also never buy anything for myself... Not even new year clothing.. Kinda sad la...

And i have gotten my first ever working pay check... Yay.. Damn happy la.. I was paid USD 250 (~RM 900) for 2.5 week job... Not a bad deal... So, i decided to use USD 50 to buy stuff that i like, and keep the USD 200 for my summer vacation...
4 - Emo
Recently, i always feel so emo, partly because of Chinese New Year la! People, stop posting on your blog to talk about how great you all celebrate Moo Moo Year leh.. Or stop uploading pictures to facebook.. And to those who tag me on the facebook album just to make me envy, i just wanna tell u all, "YEA, i hate you all... you all did make my day miserable.. !!" Kidding kidding.. I love all my best friends so much, how will i bear to hate you all? Ha ha... Thanks tho for tagging, it only shows you all think about me!

And i called Adrian two days ago because i am damn emo, wanting to talk to him and share my problems (since i think he is the only one whom i can talk too... ) Who knows, this fella talked crap with me instead... He ask me to : "take a praying mat , and pray..." or "go take a nap (when it is 11.30am"... Duhz.. Yea, although it didnt solve my problem, it did make me smile for a while...

5- Summer trip
Still planning for it..
2 plans:
1) Chicago - London - Italy - Germany - Netherlands - Belgium - France - London - Malaysia
2 Chicago - S.Korea - Taiwan (!!!!) - Malaysia - Australia - New Zealand - Malaysia

Very very de excited.. That is why need to save some money....

And today i stepped on the weighing machine again after my weight training class...
And i am currently :

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It seems like the emotional side of me is taking over my soul and body again.. Luckily this time around, i am done with almost all my assignments and tasks, so i guess i have the luxury to be in this mode...

Recently, a few juniors sent me an email and asked me a few questions, mostly regarding the American education system... And in process, they asked me what to write in their personal statement... My reply was , "write about something that you are proud of". But when they replied me by asking, "What is your proudest moment or things that you have done so far?"..

I was stunned with that question actually... It seems like i couldn't find the best answer to this question... Until the last few days, i realized the answer to this question when i was doing my weight training... At the very moment i stepped onto the weighing machine after my weight training session which indicated that i am now close to 60kg, i knew the answer to the question.. (how dramatic can this be... lol )

So, what is my proudest moment or things that you have done till now? No no.. Is not my achievement in academics, is not my luck that obtain a scholarship... But is my involvement in athletics...

When i was in Form 1, i was forced to take part in 400m race during the school's meet. Being a "Rancangan Khas Murni" (so-called-special-class-for-outstanding-student), everyone was expecting me to be the last. Even my own brother, who was the house captain of another house was not betting on me to win the race, but he did turn up to watch the race, very much to support the kids from his house instead of supporting me...

And well, i did stun everyone by winning the gold medal... And i remembered my brother's face till now.. He looked like as if he had lost RM100000 to his friend... Ha ha~

Then i went on to represent the school in district meet.. This time, papa brought mummy to watch my race... I didn't fail to impress them by winning my heat and was placed second going into the finals... However , in the final, i didnt win the gold, but i won a bronze instead... But i can tell that my father was very proud of me... He was there during all my races including all the heats, relays, etc... He was there to support me all the time... When random strangers came to me and congratulate him for having such a "good son", i could really tell that he is really happier than anyone on Earth... I went on to represent my district and ran in Larkin Stadium, one of the biggest stadium in Malaysia, and prolly the biggest stadium in Johor... Together with mummy and papa, i was there running my heart out although i didnt win any medal in the end...

2 years later, i vowed that i would win more gold medals for papa.. I would want to justify that i am not a nerd , but also a sportman... Although i am a badminton player, but you know lar, people only worships those sprinter instead of badminton player...( Who knows Lin Dan when Usain Bolt creates world records and record.... ) So, i registered for 200m, 400m, 800m, 4X100m, 4x 400m, Road Relay.. A freaking total of 6 events... And i took part in so many events also because i wanted to prove to my assistant principal who never fail to look down on me... (*ehem ehem*)

And papa, once again, came to see all my races at the corner... He never tell me if he were to come and support me, but whenever he was there, he would hide at the corner without letting me noticing his presence... And hell yea, i won myself 5 gold medals and 1 silver... And i was also awarded with the "Sportman of the Year" during the school meet... And hence, my name was engraved in the hall of fame of my school... And again, i knew papa is really proud of having me to achieve this...
Ironically, this assistant principal was the one who presented the "Sportman of the Year" trophy to me.. wahaha (evil tone~). How i wish i can listen to what was running through his mind at that time!!!


When i represented my school again in the district meet, papa decided to work as the officer of the meet in order to have more time to be there for me... During 400m heat, i ran my heart out because i knew papa was watching... So, when i was reaching the finishing line, i actually dived in order to reach first... I did it, but my face was facing the ground as i collapsed onto the ground. Papa, quickly took off his jacket and covered me with his jacket, while carrying me to the first aider tent... That was the very first time i could see how worried my father was... (he never show his emotion besides the angry side of him) Although he knew that it was a stupid move to dive at the finishing line, he never scold me and in fact, he praised me for my courage...

And this time around, there are so many of my papa's friend who witnessed my "dive"... When everyone came to see if i was okay, they would eventually praised my papa again... Again, i managed to see the proud smiley face of papa, an expression that i would never forget....

Lol.. WTH.. story ended la.... i wonder why am i doing this post... Maybe i really miss papa too much... haha! And also my dear mummy la.. but mummy is always busy working, so, she always didnt have the time to come to all events to support me... But deep inside my heart, i know that she is also rooting for me!! haha~

My point is, my proudest moment in life is when i make my parents proud... No personal achievements can ever beat that... Making parents proud , looking at the proud faces , are probably the highest achievement that one could ever achieve... Don't believe me? Ask yourself, when is the last time you make your parents seriously feel that they are so proud of you?? Ask ask ask....

During the time when i was active in athletics, i was about 51kg with a very nice 6 pack abs... Now, 60kg with one big united nation belly.. haha! I must clarify that, although my body still looks skinny, my face clearly does not reflect this.. It seems like the additional 9kg of fats have been growing on my face... T-T

Resolution #11 : Be on diet and have a more toned body!!

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